empty house

Coming home to my empty house this past week has not been much fun. I've never been so bothered by solitude before. Thank goodness for best friends, older brothers, and cable television.

I saw the second half of Crazy/Beautiful on TV the other day, and I didn't like it very much, but after Eternal Sunshine and this movie, Kirsten Dunst has won me over. Her natural innocence really contrasts with the emotional experience she gives to the characters she plays. Her face used to seem bland, but she does so much with it and sometimes, at certain angles, she's really beautiful. Her plainness is deceptive, which makes her more interesting than someone who is obviously not run-of-the-mill. I like that people are complicated in such a way that it's really possible to change your opinion of them. I've never wholeheartedly believed that people can change who they essentially are, especially after a certain point. But I do think that some characteristics tend to overshadow others, and it's nice to re-see people when this proportionality of their personality traits changes, and they seem completely different.

Real comfort, though, at least for me, comes from re-seeing things I liked and connected with the first time around. Sarah is a continual presence, and I never question whether I'll still be talking to her twenty years from now. The same goes for everyone else I've seen this summer; I'm just mentioning people I've seen during this somewhat lonely week. Since high school ended, my friendship with Victo has continued and grown as it always has, and spending time with her is always natural and comfortable. I like that we can take care of ourselves and each other at the same time. We saw Pieces of April which was really good and made me want to live in New York City even more. The scenes of Bobby riding through the city were so real and surreal at the same time. And I love dysfunctional family stories. We also saw Love Actually, which overall I didn't think was memorable when I saw it in theaters but I enjoyed the same little things about it as when I first saw it--the minor frustrations and feelings that only seem to matter to yourself at the moment. It's comforting to see the same stupid stuff you do acted out on screen--the Prime Minister's slap-on-forehead moment after giving a dorky wave to Natalie, the guy walking and stopping and walking after Keira Knightley realizes he's in love with her, Sarah's giddiness after she and Carl kiss for the first time, Colin Firth's jump and stomp after he gives the cab that he desperately wanted to an old lady (I obviously don't remember the names of all these characters).

And yes, I like Ashlee Simpson's first single. It seems to suit my recent mood, as I'm half-enjoying the up-in-the-air quality of the current state of things and half-waiting for these things to finally fall into place.