journals of steph and strangers

Reading Steph's med school blog (in retrospect) has been like discovering another person. Hi Steph! I've been reading snippets here and there, and while the things in each entry represent things I already know of her, there's always something new. Not new in that I didn't already know she hates the fog and hills and loves her classmates and oncology. New in that I hadn't heard it expressed in these specific words, on that particular day. She mentioned in an early entry about how she's not drawn to strangers' blogs, but maybe that's changed a bit because we've been talking recently about how we read strangers' blogs. I love reading blogs, people I know and strangers likewise. I love seeing what people choose to say, because there is a great deal of choice and weeding out. I love the dynamic of connection and separation that happens between bloggers and readers. I love seeing my own feelings articulated by someone else; that is so much of what I love about fiction and here it is in real people's lives.

I like strangers' blogs because the process of getting to know someone has so much novelty and a refreshing quality, and it does weird things to me. I once spent a few days reading a person's entire archives, not because it was particularly interesting but because a lot of the way he talked and things he referenced reminded me of West Point and I just wanted to figure out whether he actually went there (he rarely used any actual names). I eventually discovered that he went to the Naval Academy (close, right?). I had momentarily become obsessed with seeing if I could figure out a basic fact of his life through his more intangible online thoughts, and isn't that such a reverse way to get to know someone? It's like characters, except not. And it's always a treat to find the thoughtful, well-written, funny, bittersweet ones. And to read about people leading lives completely different from yours. I also develop dislike for people through their blogs, which I continue to read. It would suffice it to say that if I have a reaction to your writing, good or bad, I'll keep reading it. People can say so much in narcissistic writing that just can't be said in a two way conversation.

Anyway. Steph, I love your poems and your growing love of San Francisco and your thoughts on medicine and how even your thoughts on the misery of college make me miss it.

I've wanted to switch to blogspot for a long time because of the ease of posting photographs and also because it seems more conducive to regular entries. But I've been reluctant to abandon the history of my livejournal because 1) the history and 2) I don't know if I should really write more regularly. I'd like to, I'd like to write about my reaction to a movie soon after watching it instead of piling it into a larger entry about how lost I am or some recurring theme. In some ways I'm scared it'd replace a personal journal, but honestly I've been too tired to write in my own journal this past year. And there's too much piecing together of real life to try to piece together a livejournal entry, sometimes. Maybe it'd be nice to put the fragments out there, instead of collecting and sorting.