birthday

Some people think birthdays are silly, and like most socialized celebrations there is an element of that. But I really enjoy celebrating people's birthdays. I think it's a nice idea to be thankful for someone being born, for existing at a time you can know them, for continuing to be there. This year I felt particularly loved, and knowing what that feeling is like, it's natural to want to give that.

Like first year of med school, this year G. and I celebrated our birthdays together, mine on the 22nd and his on the 23rd, both of us turning 26. I wanted an excuse to eat a lot of sugar, and so we had a desserts & drinks party, in which we baked and guests brought drinks. A dozen girls (and a guy) contributed baked goods: brownies, red velvet cake, macadamia nut & white chocolate (with cookie), oatmeal raisin cookies, three kinds of pie (apple, pecan chocolate, key lime), carrot cake, lemon squares, cheesecake, and pumpkin bread. I baked for three days in a row, the first with one friend, the second with two, and the third with a gaggle. M&A came down from NYC for a morning and part afternoon to help bake, and they brought champagne and orange juice for mimosas. My best friend from high school came from CA by means of NYC and in transit to DC to New Haven, to share. She integrated seamlessly into my day to day life, helping me clean, set up, and clean again. To have people from my sequential periods of my life in my kitchen, making things and sharing cups--it was meant for a polaroid.

A small, close core of our friends came early bearing delicious chicken and chickpeas, and we ate together before the larger crowd trickled in. The party expanded past the kitchen into living room and bedroom, and my bed again became innocent nest to parties of five or six friends. We received wine made from frozen grapes, each one contributing one richly sweet drop. Lots of wine, beer, and milk, and cards and candies tossed in. In the midst, acts of thoughtfulness that spoiled us. Waking up early despite sickness and overwhelmedness to make a beautiful red velvet; introverts arriving to share; cooking for the first or rare time; searching three stores for my favorite sweet; songs sung under pressure and songs sung cause they just can't help it; a piggy back ride despite aching bones.

Then the surprise of something I've so wanted but haven't been able to get myself to give myself, from the people who have made the past three years so good. The sensation of hearing The National flow from a record player encased in a soft brown trunk is ineffable. There's no other way to say that I was incredibly touched. Not only do I get music but it will be forever connected to these people.

I'm glad also that G. ended up really enjoying the big party; we are both more used to more intimate get togethers. It's hard to talk to each person in this atmosphere, but there is something to be said about so many people you enjoy in one space. There are many classmates who I may not see all the time or talk to often but whose characters I value and whose presence make for the fullness of my life here. And to have all my closest simply spending time together is a continual source of gratitude. And in the end that's what it's been all about, a day to remember how lucky I am to have known these people who I admire, respect and love so much. It's hard to describe them without sounding corny, and that's because they are why cheesiness was made. They listen, they pay attention, they see past themselves, they make fun, they hug, they look out, they wash dishes, they take pictures, they seek outdoors, they perceive brokenness and they fix without judging. It's their world that I celebrate being born into.