In the last couple of days of my last couple of weeks of medicine wards at SFGH. I've been fortunate to have an amazing attending, an exceptional fourth year med student, great end of the year interns and then brand new interns enthusiastic to learn and dive in. I always forget how exhausting this work is, which I remember at the end of the day. I often forget how rewarding it is, which I remember at the beginning of the day. We've learned a ton of medicine, gotten to know great patients, and have had a lot of fun. But it is tiring and draining and I haven't had any chance to write. When I come home, I usually eat, shower, and sleep and because often there's half an hour between getting home and sleep, my sleep is fitful and more like an extension of day than a transition into night.
Needless to say there hasn't been much space for processing. I made time today to catch part of a lecture on finding meaning in medicine. She focused on trusting that the things we do matter, and make differences in ways we can't imagine or know. She also talked about reflecting each day on something that surprised you, something that touched you,and something that inspired you.
So for today:
Surprise: When we were called by a nurse saying that a patient had left his room and we went to his room thinking he'd abandoned the hospital. And instead found him covered in a sheet in another hospital bed in the hallway, stating that he was looking for peace and quiet, and promising that he wouldn't leave the hospital.
Touch: When an intern I had worked with a year ago and haven't talked to since, recognized my voice over the phone, and he later told my intern that he trusted my decisions.
Inspire: Supreme Court legalization of gay marriage, and the celebratory response. And also that we have convinced the proud and happy, but seriously ill, patient from the "surprise" anecdote to stay in the hospital despite his desire to leave and join PRIDE on Sunday, which he states will be "the biggest f---ing gay day in history."
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