friends

In a period of low where I felt both made to feel, and self-induced to feel, a bit mediocre, I sought love, and found it. No matter what else I accomplish or am trying to accomplish, knowing that I can be something to someone, makes me feel purpose more than anything else. When our home is a place to ring the doorbell at any hour, when our couch and kitchen is open to someone who wants company, quiet company while sleeping exhausted or raucous accompaniment to the guitar, when there is a knock at the back door just cause--I'm incredibly grateful to be a person to come to. And to be able to go to them. Though generally uncomfortable with positive reinforcement, I admit there are times when it's needed, and nice. To have a friend you respect so well tell you you're one of the best, to have a boyfriend who calls you at work when you're feeling inferior and makes you feel chosen instead, to have a group of wonderful people want to be with you, to have emails end with love that's genuine and felt across distance. To be deserving of it all, is the best goal to have, and when other things aren't going so well, this alone is reason to keep trying to be better.